Spiritual Life Purpose Coach
Kathy Wilson, CPC



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Coaching Article: Comfort Zones and Sabotage

We all have within us a self-regulating, self-balancing scale that keeps our emotions perfectly balanced as far as the amount of emotion we allow ourselves to feel. Each of us has a limit to the extreme of which we will allow ourselves to feel ups and downs emotionally. The up is always exactly the same amount of emotion as the down. If we could weigh the emotions we feel, then we could say that we allow ourselves to feel only ten pounds of fear. This also means that we will allow ourselves to feel only ten pounds of love. No more. No less.

Interestingly, people who allow themselves to feel only small amounts of emotion are said to be balanced. This is a misconception. We are all balanced. Artists and other creatives, who are known in our society to feel extremes of emotion that the rest of our society doesn't, have balanced emotions. On their emotional balance scale, their emotions are perfectly balanced. They simply allow themselves to experience more tonnage of emotions on each side. They feel more pain, more joy, more anger, more love, more hurt... all in a perfect balance.

Where are your emotions on this Emotional Scale?

Whenever we are taken beyond our comfort zone of feeling we will do whatever it takes, use whatever remedies we have available to us, to bring ourselves back to the acceptable measure of emotion for us. This has been named "self medication" and can take many forms - alcohol, drugs, coffee, sugar, work, sex, TV, etc. We, as a society, are becoming aware of self medicating ourselves when we feel bad. However, we also use these means to self-medicate ourselves when we are feeling too good about ourselves.

When we are taken out of our comfort zone on the feel-good side of the balance scales, our subconscious mind knows that this means that we will also be taken out of our comfort zone on the feel-bad side. This is the self-balancing scale at work. We don't want to feel bad emotions that are more intense that we have become accustomed to, so we self-medicate and self-regulate ourselves back into the safety of our emotional comfort zone.

This is where we see our weight loss plans fail, our exercise programs fall apart, our new found strengths scare us into retreating back to our emotional comfort zone. Sabotage of a new exercise program is a form of self-medication. It allows us to move back into our old familiar emotional comfort zone. We don't want to feel too good because if we feel too good then we know that feeling too bad is lurking around the corner.

One way to get off this teeter-totter is to experience deep personal life coaching. With life coaching you find the solutions that work for you to stop the self-sabotage.

Copyright 2004 Under One Roof

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Kathy Wilson, CPC, GRI
680 Rainier Lane, Port Ludlow, WA 98365
Phone: 360.437.9328

Email: KWilson@Warrior-Priestess.com

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